*Sorry that I have not written in my blog in a while. Hopefully this will make up for it.*

I’ve always known that God has a plan, but I recently learned that so does Satan! He is NOT messing around either. In 1 Peter 5:8-9 it states that the enemy is a lion, prowling and ready to destroy!

          Lately all this tension has been building up between building up between me and my parents. It cracked on Tuesday but it fell apart on Wednesday.

          Tuesday I went dress shopping for U-Rock with my best friend, Sarah, my sister and my mom. Sarah, of course, found something at the first store. I, on the other hand, had to keep looking for hours! I got so angry and frustrated that I started to take it out on my mom. I was being to disrespectful, which is not how I am. Finally Sarah called me out on my attitude, which is what a good friend should do. Little did anyone know, the problem was much deeper than a dress dilemma. So all this is escalating and at some point it has to reach a climax. The climax was on Wednesday, April 1st at about 6:20 pm. When I got home from school on Wednesday my mom was already in a bad mood, so I was not exactly off to a great start. I just kind of ignored everyone and went to sleep for a little bit. When I woke up my dad was saying he was leaving for church right then and my mom was not going. I was upset because he did not say anything earlier as I rushed to get ready. Then my mom said I should eat dinner before I left, so I did. Meanwhile, she is asking if I made invitations for my birthday to give out at STORM that night. I replied “no” and she basically freaked out and said that I need to get my priorities straight. Then my dad suggested that we just cancel my 16th birthday party all together! After all that crap they had the nerve to just sat there and talk about my “huge” failure, while I was sitting in the middle of them! I got so irritated that I just walked up stairs and I said that I didn’t want to go to STORM anymore. Then I came back down stairs after crying a little bit and I said that I actually did want to go to STORM because that was the only place that I liked. We got in the car and my dad automatically started grilling my about the whole situation. –FYI: I’m the type of person that I don’t like to be repeatedly pushed on something- He then started yelling so I tried to remain calm while asking him why he was yelling and his reply was that he was not yelling. I then decided that he should hear what he sounded like; I started yelling too. Then he said he just talked loudly. I honestly wanted to punch him in the face at this point and I could tell he wanted to do the same to me. He decided then that I was disrespectful and my punishment was no STORM that night. He turned the car around and dumped me off at home.

          I walked in and within minutes was in another fight with my mom.

          I walked into my room, shut the door and sat against it, crying. The tears were so painful that they stung as they rolled down my face.

          Then all the sudden, while I was trying to get a grip on myself, I started telling myself that I was a worthless, stupid, controlling brat… but I could sense that I was not really me thinking and saying all this.

          I then started hitting myself out of disgust. It was moving into a new level of hatred with every sound of my hand hitting my own skin. This outside force was speaking lies to me. “You’re not good enough to be with Matt. He is so perfect and you can’t even keep your mouth shut for two seconds! Some other girl, better than you obviously, deserves his love. Why should he be wasting his time with you when you can’t fill his expectations? You’re just going to fail. You don’t deserve something so great!” Then I started thinking ‘Well I guess the only solution would be to dump him. I mean that is what’s best for him anyway! I just want him to be happy, so the sooner the better.’ Then I actually started thinking about the next few days and when it would be a good time to break up with him!

          Finally I regained control and I started to lift myself up. I said that “James 1:17 states that every good and perfect gift comes from God. I know that I am a good and perfect gift from God!” I said that “Christ said we could go even greater things than him!” I said that I was not going to break up with Matt because I knew that Christ had a plan for me and for Matt. In that moment I thought back to Tuesday and how Sarah was saying that God had a plan for her and for Tyler, well that is the truth and I started to speak it! My words hold the power to life or death. I was NOT going to go down to the level that this demonic spirit wanted! Instead I bowed down to Christ and cried out because I knew I could not fight any longer on my own. I said I was done and I wanted his love to capture my heart and set it a blaze with passion. As I knelt there I began to feel an overwhelming God-peace wash over me and calm me. I felt light hearted and free! I no longer felt two worlds pulling at my soul. I did not feel as though I was in a battle field any longer. I stayed in that peace for a while.

          Then I sat up and started to piece everything together. I was in shock at what I figured out: Satan had a carefully orchestrated plot the whole time! I let a few little things slip into my heart and they eventually worked into me and started to take a toll. Then once he had me down; it was child’s play from there, or so he thought! He started to slowly whisper little lies to me, I believed them and then he had a foothold over me. Ephesians 4:27 says “do not give the devil a foothold.” This is so true! Satan slipped that one over me because I had the mentality that that scripture only applied to people “in the world” when really it applies to everyone. Good thing God loved me and was fighting for me because now I am free! 2 Corinthians 3:17 says that there is freedom where the spirit of the Lord is found. I could feel God’s spirit all over me after I hit my knees and that is when the liberation came.

          It felt like a war –no joke! It felt like I was in the middle of the rope with angels and demons on the ends pulling and fighting for my soul at the commandments of their masters. I was literally being fought over. We hear all the time that there is a spiritual battle going on for your soul. Well on Wednesday it actually came out!

          The reason why I am sharing this with you is so that you can learn and grow from my mistakes. Here is what you need to know to avoid this happening to you:

                   One- Be prepared: The Bible says that Satan is a lion. He is prowling and ready to destroy you! If the Bible is saying that about Satan then I think that I would like to be ready for anything he could try to throw at me! Keep in mind the fact that Satan does, in fact, have a plan to destroy you and that there is a seriously intense spiritual battle going on everyday for your soul. The farther you slip from God and push him away means the harder Satan is just going to attack you because you are not under the protection of Christ. A helpful piece of advice to keep you from Satan’s clutch is to watch your surroundings because it is so easy for us to get stuck in with the wrong people and screw up just once. Put uplifting and courageous people around you in your friend groups. Your family is also very important but keep in mind that you cannot pick your family but if they are mean or discouraging then you have the power to deflect what they are saying and not take it to heart. Get a mentor around you and people to pour into your life because you give to others from the overflow of your spirit and if you are not getting fed then you cannot impact effectively! Also get support around you through a connection group! If you do not know where to meet these kinds of people then you should probably try church or youth group!

                   Two- Listen for God’s voice and authority in your life: That can come through other people, the bible or an audible voice from God. Keep your ears open and your heart ready! Earlier in April (the month that this whole situation happened) God was trying to reveal 1 Peter 5:8 to warn me but I was not listening and therefore I did not hear it and as a result of my stupidity and ignorance to God’s voice I had to suffer, but because God is merciful he rescued me.

 

*If you are doing all of this then there is no reason for you to be struggling.

Advertisement